Searching for change.

This weekend I am going after a new challenge. Every time I attempt a new challenge I wonder if I will come out the same person on the other side.

Today on the way home I thought about how this next attempt could change me. Then I thought to myself, “Is that why I do these things?”. Am I going to put myself through pain and suffering for hours on end just to see if I change. Why am I seeking change? I can spend hours going through things I would like to change about myself. I think my true demons will come out in this adventure. What am I going to find?

This is something that I believe scares most people. We don’t want to see the demons that could come out.

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I also believe this is an essential part of evolving which we have been doing forever.

This weekend I fully intend on finding my demons even if I have to chase them for days on the trail. I will find them. It scares the shit out of me but I need this. I need this more than you may be able to imagine. This past year I have notice a change in my attitude and I need to get back to where I was before. I have become very negative. A lot of people who spend time with me would disagree but they don’t know what happens the rest of the day or when I am alone at work. I want to find the person I was a couple of years ago and beg him to come back.

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So I will be chasing those demons. Yelling, screaming and begging them to challenge me.

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Gooseberry Falls in 2014. Where the journey will begin.
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One thought on “Searching for change.

  1. I hope you can find what your looking for. I want to see you get to the point where you can be relaxed enough with yourself so you don’t feel the need to push yourself so far.

    Like

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